Lord of the Rings: The Musical

Act Two: The Two Towers

Filks by Jennifew or MariaV unless otherwise indicated

Wishing You Were Somehow Here Again

("Wishing You Were Somehow Here Again" from Phantom of the Opera, orig. by Charles Hart)

Frodo awakens from a dream about Gandalf's fight with the balrog.

Frodo:
You were once our wise companion;
You knew all that mattered.
You were once my best advisor--
Then our group was shattered.

Wishing you were somehow here again,
Wishing you were somehow near.
Sometimes it seems
That in my dreams
Somehow you are still here.
Wishing you could give advice again,
Knowing that it would be good.
How, without you,
Will I ever do
All that you hoped I could?

Creeping orcs and gloomy caverns,
Cold and so forbidding,
Seem for you the wrong companions;
They won't do your bidding.
Too many fears bring me near tears;
Why did you have to die?

Wishing you were somehow here again,
Knowing we must say goodbye.
I'll do this thing--destroy the Ring--
Give me the strength to try!

No more memories, no more silent fears.
No more wasting my time with useless tears.
Help me say goodbye.

Help me say goodbye.

With One Ring

("With One Look" from Sunset Boulevard, orig. by Don Black and Christopher Hampton)

Sensing the Ring drawing closer to Mordor, Sauron dreams of the time when he has it back.

Sauron:
With one Ring, I can rule them all.
With one Ring I'll make millions fall.
I can make the whole world weep.
With one Ring I'll do all I want to do.

With one Ring I'm the feared Dark Lord
Who can't die, not by flame or sword.
When I speak, I'll rule your souls;
That's just one of my goals.

No words can speak
The horrors I will wreak.
All through field and town,
I will bring them down.
No wrong or right,
There's power in my might.
When I look your way
You'll do what I say!

Yes, with one Ring I will kill and maim.
Just one Ring sets the world aflame.
As all hope begins to fade,
One glance from my eye makes the whole world cry.

With one Ring I'll wipe out the past
And proclaim: I've returned at last.
And they will live in the dark,
Forever in the dark....

As all hope begin to fade,
With one Ring I'll do all I want to do.

With one Ring I'll ignite a blaze;
I'll return to my glory days!
They'll cry, "Sauron has returned!"

This time I am staying,
I'm staying for good.
I'll be back
Where I was meant to be.
With one Ring,
I'll be me!

You'll Never Walk Alone

("You'll Never Walk Alone" from Carousel, orig. by Oscar Hammerstein II)

Through the Dead Marshes....

When you walk
Through the reeds,
Keep your head up high
And don't try to follow the lights.

At the end of the marsh
Is the gate you seek
And the land overridden with blights.

Walk on past the dead,
Walk on past the lights,
Though the Ring may weigh you down...

Walk on,
Walk on,
With fear in your heart,
For you'll never walk alone.
You'll never walk alone.

Walk on past the dead,
Walk on past the lights,
Though the Ring may weigh you down.

Walk on,
Walk on,
With fear in your heart,
For you'll never walk alone.
You'll never walk alone.

High Flying, Abhorred

("High Flying, Adored" from Evita, orig. by Tim Rice; filked with Josie)

The Ringbearer and his companions cower in the Dead Marshes as overhead a Wraith searches for them.

High flying, abhorred; so old, but once a king, a
Dark, unliving thing of all their nightmares, a cross between a
Witch-King of the Angmar and a wraith.
And you were just a small-town king,
Hustling and fighting,
Scratching and biting.
High flying, abhorred; did you believe in your wildest moments
All this would be yours, that you'd become a Servant of the Ring?
Were there stars in your eyes when you crawled in at night
From the wars, from the battles,
From the gutter historical?
Don't look down, it's a long, long way to fall.

High flying, abhorred; what happens now? Where do you go from here?
For someone enslaved by Sauron, the view's not exactly clear.
A shame you took a Ring from the Dark Lord.
There are no mysteries now;
Nothing can kill you,
No one fulfill you.
High flying, abhorred; I hope you come to terms with boredom.
So scary, so easily, so soon is not the wisest thing to be.
You won't care if they hate you; it's been done before.
You'll despair if they flee you--
You'll be tortured without mercy.
All the Wraiths who've made it would agree.

Witch-King:
High flying, abhorred--I've been called names, but they're the strangest.
My story's quite usual, local king makes good, gets famous Ring.
I was just in the right place at the perfect time.
Got a Ring--I was lucky.
But there's one thing I'll say for me:
No one else can use it like I can.

Till We Reach That Gate

("Till We Reach That Day" from Ragtime, orig. by Lynn Ahrens)

Frodo enlists Gollum to lead him and Sam to the Black Gate.

All:
Oh...
Oh...
Oh...

Frodo:
There's a gate of Dark
That I have to find,
For this Ring I carry
Overtakes my mind.
Let the Black Gate rise,
For it is my fate.
We'll never get to Mordor
Till we reach that gate.

Sam:
It's a gate of black.
A gate of sin.

A gate of evil
That we must get in.

 

Frodo:
A gate of sin.

 
Must get in.

Frodo and Sam:
So all men can live,
And no hobbit hate.
We'll never get to Mordor
Till we reach that gate.

Gollum:
What they took from me,
What they stoles from me.
They had tricksded me,
Oh, they have my precious!
But I'll be getting it,
Taking it,
Stealing it back.

Sméagol:
I am something
To him,
He is my Master.

Something and someone to him.

 

Gollum:
Get back.

Frodo and Sam:
So he leads us
And leads us and leads us to....
Sam:
A gate of black,
A gate of sin,

A gate of evil--

Will we ever win?

 

Let the Black Gate come,
Oh, Lord....

Frodo:
There is blood in the air.

It is only a Ring.

But for peace once again

But for peace once again
Once again
Once again

Frodo:
Why does nobody care?

Sam:
There is blood in the air!

Frodo:
We have Gollum to guide!

Sam:
What is wrong with this creature?

Frodo:
He was once just like me!

Sméagol:
There are following me!

Gollum:
They are oh so tricksey!

All:
So we go to...

A gate of dark.
A gate of sin.
A gate of evil.
How will we get in?
For beyond that gate
The Dark Lord does wait....

We'll never get to Mordor
Till we reach that gate.

Éowyn

("Marguerite" from The Scarlet Pimpernel, orig. by Nan Knighton)

Meanwhile, back in Edoras, Gríma approaches Éowyn and creeps out every female in the audience.

Gríma:
A scent of roses in her hair,
A silver laugh that plays the air,
And once again sweet Éowyn is near you.

We fell like stars, we're falling still.
We share the dark; we always will.
Who else but you could lead me to my heaven?

This was written on the wind
And it's useless to fight.
Will you be my fallen angel tonight?

Éowyn, I thought you knew--
I understand the dark of you.
Give in to me...it's time that we were dancing.

That scent of roses fills your hair.
Your silver laughter chills the air.
I'm falling when sweet Éowyn draws near.

And no one has touched me;
My soul's my own.
Éowyn, you, too,
Walk the night alone.
Come hear me, come near me;
Don't feel morose!
No one moves my heart--
But you come close.

And every day is bittersweet
When Éowyn is all you meet....

I breathe the roses in your hair.
I feel your heat. I touch your air.
You frighten me...or could it be I love you?

The moon begins to fly the sky;
The sun will rise, and so will I
To greet a day that's filled with Éowyn.

Frodo's Eyes

("Lily's Eyes" from The Secret Garden, orig. by Marsha Norman)

Late one night, Sam and Frodo separately reflect on their guide.

Sam:
Fin'ly quiet, but now the freak simply rests; he'll squeal again.
Standing, waiting, I think of him; I think of him....

Frodo:
Strange, this Sméagol; he goes to sleep, yet his gaze still lingers on.
Something stirs me to think of him...I think of him....

Sam:
From sleep he casts his spell, all night I hear his sighs.
And now this thing has come who has his eyes....
He has his eyes.
The freak has Frodo's wide blue eyes,
Those eyes that I saw happy long ago.
Those eyes that once held life and hope and always shone....
How can he see the freak and miss those wide blue eyes?

Frodo:
He has those eyes--
Sméagol has startling, wide blue eyes,
Those eyes so filled with pain from long ago.
Those eyes, I feel will never ever let me go.
How can I see the pain within those wide blue eyes?

In Sméagol's eyes, a treasure this Ring seemed to be;
Its power took his mind away--
And then it came to me!

Sam:
He has his eyes, he has my Frodo's wide blue eyes,
Those eyes that loved the Shire, never me!
Those eyes that never saw me, never knew I longed to
Hold him close, to live at last
In Frodo's eyes!

Frodo:
Imagine me, like Gollum!

Sam:
I longed for the day he'd turn and see me standing there--

Sam:
And throw the Ring away!

He has his eyes!

He has Frodo's wide blue eyes,

Those eyes that I have loved so.
How can I now forget
What he'll come to be--
The pain I start to see
In Frodo's eyes.
In Frodo's eyes!

Frodo:
I'll throw the Ring away!

 
He has such
Startling, wide blue eyes.
Those eyes so filled with
Pain from long ago.
How can I now forget what I
May soon come to be--
In pain like I can see
In Sméagol's eyes.
In Sméagol's eyes!

Agony

("Agony" from Into the Woods, orig. by Stephen Sondheim)

A hungry Frodo and Sam rest in Ithilien, while Sméagol is off hunting wabbits...

Frodo:
High in a tower--
Like Orthanc, but starker--
A watch, his eye keeps.
All round the tower
The world becomes darker
A thousand feet deep.
Agony!
No frustration more keen,
When the place you must go
Is the one place you're sure to be seen.

Sam:
I had a basket
Full of lembas--
This is incredible.
Somehow--don't ask it--
That Gollum, alas,
Made it inedible.

Both:
Oh, what indelible agony!
Is adventure this hard?

Sam:
I found where berries grow--

Frodo:
Did you pick us some?

Sam:
No! There's a dwarf standing guard.

Both:
Agony,
Such that hobbits must weep!
Always in thrall most
To Sauron's Ring--almost!--
With no food to keep.

Frodo:
If it were not for his spying...

Sam:
He's spying, no lie.
You could die--

Frodo:
Nazgûl flying...

Sam:
--Defying him,
Trying to hide where we lie.

Frodo:
Yes, but I can't deny
There's my thing with the Ring.

Sam:
You could try!

Frodo:
At least I don't have your thing with dwarves.

Sam:
Dwarfs!

Frodo:
Dwarfs...

Sam:
Dwarfs are very upsetting!

Both:
Not forgetting the tasks unachievable,
Mountains unscalable,
If it's perceivable
But unassailable--
Ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah--Agony!

Frodo:
Misery!

Sam:
Woe!

Both:
Not to know if you'll live.

Frodo:
While you're sent on a quest--

Sam:
And you're put to the test--

Both:
Till you've naught left to give!
Agony that can cut like a knife...
But then back to my life!

Prithee, Elven Maiden

("Prithee, Pretty Maiden" from Patience, orig. by William Gilbert)

On the journey to Helm's Deep, Aragorn reflects on the beginning of his relationship with Arwen.

Aragorn:
Prithee, elven maiden, prithee, tell me true
(Hey, but I'm doleful, willow willow waly!)
Have you e'er a lover a-dangling after you?
Hey willow waly o!
I would fain discover if you have a lover.
Hey willow waly o!

Arwen:
Ranger man, my heart is frolicsome and free
(Hey, but he's doleful, willow willow waly!)
Nobody I care for comes a-courting me
Hey willow waly o!
Nobody I care for comes a-courting, therefore--
Hey willow waly o!

Aragorn:
Prithee, elven maiden, will you marry me?
(Hey, but I'm hopeful, willow willow waly!)
I may say at once, I'm a man of royalty
Hey willow waly o!
Bathing, I despise it; many people prize it
Hey willow waly o!

Arwen:
Ranger man, although to marry I design,
(Hey, but he's hopeful, willow willow waly!)
My father won't approve you, and so I must decline
Hey willow waly o!
To human maidens go you, Lord Elrond won't approve you
Hey willow waly o!

Aragorn:
(spoken) Arwen! Can it be that you don't recognise me?

Arwen:
Recognise you? No, indeed I don't!

Aragorn:
Have fifty years so greatly changed me?

Arwen:
Fifty years? What do you mean?

Aragorn:
Have you forgotten the boy of my youth, your Estel?

Arwen:
Estel! Is it possibly? Why, let me look--it is! It is! It must be! Oh, how happy I am! I thought we should never meet again! And how you've grown!

Aragorn:
Yes, Arwen, I am much taller and much scruffier than I was.

Arwen:
And how you've improved!

Aragorn:
Yes, Arwen. I am very manly. (He sighs.)

Arwen:
But surely that doesn't make you unhappy?

Aragorn:
Yes, Arwen. Gifted as I am with a manliness which probably has not its rival in Middle-Earth, I am, nevertheless, utterly and completely miserable.

Arwen:
Oh, but why?

Aragorn:
My child-love for you has never faded. Conceive, then, the horror of my situation when I tell you it is my hideous destiny to be madly loved at first sight by every creature I come across!

Arwen:
But why do you make yourself so picturesque? Why not bathe yourself, shave yourself, anything to escape this persecution?

Aragorn:
No, Arwen, that may not be. These gifts, irksome as they are, were given to me for the enjoyment and delectation of my fellow-creatures. I am a trustee for Manliness, and it is my duty to see that the conditions of my trust are faithfully discharged.

Arwen:
And you, too, are a Hero?

Aragorn:
Yes, I am the Essence of Valour. I am called "Aragorn, Son of Arathorn, Isildur's Heir and Heir to the Throne of Gondor", for I am incomparable.

Arwen:
And is it possible you should condescend to love such a girl as I?

Aragorn:
Yes, Arwen, is it not strange? I have loved you with a Fëanorian fourteenth-century frenzy for a full fifty years.

Arwen:
Oh, marvellous! I have hitherto been deaf to the voice of love. I seem now to know what love is! It has been revealed to me--it is Aragorn, Son of Arathorn!

Aragorn:
Yes, Arwen, it is!

Arwen:
We will never, never part!

Aragorn:
We will live and die together!

Arwen:
I swear it!

Aragorn:
We both swear it!

Arwen:
But oh--the horror!

Aragorn:
What's the matter?

Arwen:
Why, you are human! A source of temporary ecstacy to all who know you!

Aragorn:
I know I am. Well?

Arwen:
Why, bless my heart, there can be nothing eternal in loving you!

Aragorn:
Merciful Valar! I never thought of that!

Arwen:
Oh, if you were but a thought less mortal than you are!

Aragorn:
Would that I were! But candour compels me to admit that I am not.

Arwen:
Our duty is clear: we must part, and for ever.

Aragorn:
Oh, misery! And yet, I cannot question the propriety of your decision. Farwell, Arwen.

Arwen:
Farewell, Aragorn! (They turn to leave.) But stay!

Aragorn:
Yes, Arwen?

Arwen:
Although I may not love you--for you are mortal--there is nothing to prevent your loving me! I am tall, elven, and immortal!

Aragorn:
Why, that's true!

Arwen:
The love of such a man as you for such a girl as I must be eternal!

Aragorn:
Eternity itself!

Arwen:
(sung) Though to marry you would temporary be

Aragorn:
(Hey, but I'm doleful, willow willow waly!)

Arwen:
You may all the same continue loving me!

Aragorn:
(Hey willow waly o!)

Both:
All the world ignoring, you'll/I'll go on adoring!
Hey willow waly o!

Don't Cry For Me, Minas Morgul

("Don't Cry For Me, Argentina" from Evita, orig. by Tim Rice)

Back in Isengard, Saruman surveys his massive army from his balcony and hopes Sauron doesn't think it was created for the wizard's benefit....

Saruman:
It won't be easy, you'll think it strange
When I try to explain what I need,
That I still need your help after all that I've done;
You won't believe me.
All you will see is the army I've bred--
Although they're much smarter than orcs,
My uruks will go where they're led.

I had to let it happen, I had to change.
Couldn't spend all my life doing good.
Looking in my palantír, staying out of the way,
So I chose evil--
Tearing down trees, blasting holes in the ground--
But nothing fulfilled me at all.
I never expected it to.

Don't cry for me, Minas Morgul,
The truth is I never left you.
All through my long days
As the White Wizard,
I kept my promise;
Don't send Black Riders!

And as for torture, and as for pain,
I never invited them in.
Though it seemed to the world they were all I desired
They are illusions
They're not the solutions they promised to be;
The answer was here all the time:
I'll help you, and hope you'll help me.

Don't cry for me, Minas Morgul....

Don't cry for me, Minas Morgul!
The truth is I never left you.
All through my long days
As the White Wizard,
I kept my promise;
Don't send Black Riders!

Have I said too much? There's nothing more I can think of to say to you.
But all you have to do is look at me to know that every word is true.

Another Arrow in Another Orc

("Another Suitcase in Another Hall" from Evita, orig. by Tim Rice)

As Théoden's people arm old men and young boys, Legolas despairs.

Legolas:
I don't expect these mortal folk to live for long,
Never let myself forget how short are their lives.
Being an immortal, I'm here to protect them;
But now I don't expect them
To survive.

So what happens now?
(Another arrow in another orc)
So what happens now?
(Take your knife out of another orc)
What are they fighting for?
(You'll survive, you always have before)
What are they fighting for?

Time and time again, I've killed, and I don't care,
For I'm immune to gloom, I stay calm through and through.
But when I see who's fighting here, my calm deserts me.
I can't save them, and it hurts me.
Strange, but true.

So what happens now?
(Another arrow in another orc)
So what happens now?
(Take your knife out of another orc)
What are they fighting for?
(You'll survive, you always have before)
What are they fighting for?

In three hundred years I will be fine, I know--
Well, maybe not that fine, but I'll survive anyhow.
I won't recall the names and faces of this sad occasion,
But that's no consolation
Here and now.

So what happens now?
(Another arrow in another orc)
So what happens now?
(Take your knife out of another orc)
What are they fighting for?
(You'll survive, you always have before)
What are they fighting for?
(Don't ask anymore)

If I Were At Home

("If I Were A Bell" from Guys and Dolls, orig. by Frank Loesser)

As the Ents begin their Moot, Merry and Pippin discuss their feelings about the quest.

Pippin:
Ask me how do I feel, ask me now that we're hungry and stinking.
Well, friend, all I can say is if I were at home I'd be drinking.
From the moment we left the Shire,
That's no way hobbits ought to behave.
And if I could have what I desire,
Middle-Earth wouldn't need to be saved!

Ask me how do I feel, little me with my hobbit upbringing.
Merry, all I can say is if I were at home I'd be singing,
But out here we have nearly been killed over some rings!
Yes, if I were at home I'd do very different things.

Merry:
Ask me how do I feel from this history lesson we're learning.
Well, Pip, all I can say is we must stop the Shire from burning.
Yes, I know you would rather go back
To the wonderful life we once knew,
But despite all the things we now lack,
Just remember the good we can do!

Ask me how do I feel, ask me now that we know what's occurring.
Pip, if we're to return home be glad that the Ents are conferring!
For if Sauron should somehow gain control of the Ring...
Well, if I had a choice, I'd be doing the same thing!

And the Uruks Kept Pouring In

("And the Money Kept Rolling In (And Out)" from Evita, orig. by Tim Rice)

The battle of Helm's Deep.

And the uruks kept pouring in from every side.
Sauron's greedy hands reached out, and they reached wide.
Now, you may feel it should have been a voluntary war,
But that's not the point, my friends.
When the uruks keep pouring in, you don't ask how.
Think of all the people gotta do some fighting now.
Orthanc's sent ten thousand uruks--time to bar the doors!
Never been a siege like the one Rohan's facing tonight!

Pourin' pourin' pourin', pourin' pourin' pourin', pourin' pourin' pourin', pourin' pourin' pourin'
Pourin' pourin' pourin', pourin' pourin' pourin', pourin' pourin' pourin', pourin' pourin' pourin'
Pourin' on in, pourin' on in, pourin' on in
On in

Would you like to try a second Elf Alliance,
Join together and all face Sauron with defiance?
Haldir and his fighting elves can make your wish come true.
Here's all you have to do, my friends:
Get a dwarf, and an elf, and the lost heir to a kingdom,
Send them off on a quest, relying that between them
Their various acquaintances can gain you the support
That may be the one thing to help Rohan last through the night!

Pourin' pourin' pourin', pourin' pourin' pourin', pourin' pourin' pourin', pourin' pourin' pourin'
Pourin' pourin' pourin', pourin' pourin' pourin', pourin' pourin' pourin', pourin' pourin' pourin'
Pourin' on in, pourin' on in, pourin' on in
On in

Anthem

("Anthem" from Chess, orig. by Tim Rice)

Cut to Fangorn, where Merry explains why he doesn't want to just give up and return home.

Merry:
No man, no madman,
Though their Ring's power may prevail,
Will possess, conquer, my Shire's heart.
They rise to fail.

She is so peaceful,
Has not seen Sauron's weapon drawn.
Where the fields grew and the rivers ran
My land was born.

And you ask me why I love her,
Why I face death and despair?
She is the constant
That makes me care.
And you wonder why I left her and how?
I walk through this forest but I'm still there now!

How did I leave her?
Why did I start?
I can't let that One Ring tear this world apart!

My Shire's only borders lie
Around my heart!

And the Uruks Kept Pouring In

("And the Money Kept Rolling In (And Out)" from Evita, orig. by Tim Rice)

Cut back to Helm's Deep.

And the arrows were fired out in all directions
By the young, by the old, by the Rohirrim of all complexions.
Now, cynics claimed the fortress wouldn't last a single night,
But that's not the point, my friends.
When the archers keep firing out, you can't keep score.
You can tell you've done well when the slaughter is no more.
Emotions only slow things down, mercy gets in the way.
Never been a country desperate as Rohan tonight!

Firin' firin' firin', firin' firin' firin', firin' firin' firin', firin' firin' firin'
Firin' firin' firin', firin' firin' firin', firin' firin' firin', firin' firin' firin'
Firin' on out, firin' on out, firin' on out
On out

If the uruks keep pouring in, what's a king to do?
Lead a final desp'rate charge for his people--wouldn't you?
But how on earth can they survive their charge into the dawn?
The exiled Rohirrim
Sought by Gandalf the White, led by Éomer the loyal
Have returned just in time to defend their native soil.
What relief to see them ride up when all hope had gone--
Riding out to guarantee Rohan's vict'ry tonight!

Ridin' ridin' ridin', ridin' ridin' ridin', ridin' ridin' ridin', ridin' ridin' ridin'
Ridin' ridin' ridin', ridin' ridin' ridin', ridin' ridin' ridin', ridin' ridin' ridin'
Ridin' on out, ridin' on out, ridin' on out
Ridin' on out, ridin' on out, ridin' on out
On out!

Our Only Friend

("My Own Best Friend" from Chicago, orig. by Fred Ebb)

As he leads Frodo and Sam through the woods, Sméagol and Gollum reflect on what to do about the hobbits' apparent betrayal.

Gollum:
One thing we knows

And we've always known:

We are our on-

ly friend.

We're still alive

But we're still alone

And we are our on-

ly friend.

 
Sméagol:
One thing we knows

And we've always known:

We are our on-
ly friend.

 
We're still alive

But we're still alone

And we are our on-
ly friend.



Both:
Master told lies,
They told us they cares.
They knew we wants our precious
And wanted it for theirs.



Gollum:
Them hobbitses, well,

They're tricksy and cruel.

 
Sméagol:
Them hobbitses, well,

They're tricksy and cruel.

Both:
They thinks they can win
'Cause they breaks the rules.
But they doesn't know
What we understand:
That we are our only friend.



We wants it back!
We wants them to die
But it could be too risky,


 
Gollum: 
So

We'll let

Her try!

Sméagol:
So

We'll let

Her try!



Both:
We'll take them to her;
She'll tear out their eyes.
Our precious returns
Once hobbitses die.
We won't let them know--
We'll lie just like them
'Cause we're our only friend!


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