The Prologue, Cliffs Notes version....
Galadriel:
Tale as old as time,
True as it can be.
Sauron's army thrives,
We fight for our lives
Unexpectedly.
Small, to say the least.
Just a little thing.
Everybody scared,
Nobody prepared--
Story of the Ring.
Forged in secrecy.
Forged to rule us all.
Forged with its own will,
Forged to only kill,
To make armies fall.
Tale as old as time,
Legend into myth.
I amar prestar aen,
Han mathon ne chae,
Noston ned 'wilith.
Now it has been found,
Gollum's precious thing.
Tale as old as time,
Song as old as rhyme,
Story of the Ring.
Tale as old as time,
Song as old as rhyme,
Story of the Ring.
Gandalf is amazed by hobbity resourcefulness.
Gandalf:
Each time I enter Hobbiton
At 5 or 6 or 7,
I can't resist a joyous urge to smile and say,
Thank heaven for Shire folk,
For Shire folk act bigger every day!
Thank heaven for Shire folk;
They go on though they do not know the way!
Those giant feet,
So dirty and so hairy--
They hide the fact
That they are extraordinary.
Thank heaven for Shire folk.
Thank heaven for them all,
No matter where, no matter who,
Without them, what would Middle Earth do?
Thank heaven...
Thank heaven...
Thank heaven for Shire folk!
Those giant feet,
So dirty and so hairy--
They hide the fact
That they are extraordinary.
Thank heaven for Shire folk.
Thank heaven for them all,
No matter where, no matter who,
Without them, what would Middle Earth do?
Thank heaven...
Thank heaven...
Thank heaven for Shire folk!
Deep within Mordor, Sauron grows restless.
Sauron:
How long must this go on,
This cruel trick of fate?
I simply made one careless, wrong decision.
And then my Ring was gone,
Which left me in this state--
An object of amusement and derision.
Ringless!
Is there no way
I can find to
Once again become embodied?
The Nazgûl try to cheer up their Dark Lord.
Witch-King:
Gosh it disturbs us to see you, Sauron,
Looking so down in the dumps.
Every wraith here'd love to be you, Sauron,
Even when taking your lumps.
As much as the Ring is desired by you,
We know that we haven't a chance.
Ev'ryone's awed and inspired by you,
Though your life is not all song and dance....
No one peeks like Sauron,
No one sneaks like Sauron.
No one scares little Halflings to beets like Sauron!
For there's no one in Arda as scary,
Perfect, a pure paragon.
You can ask any Ferny or Harry,
And they'll tell you whose side they prefer to be on.
Nazgûl:
No one smiles like Sauron
Or beguiles like Sauron.
Witch-King:
No one's eye can see all things for miles like Sauron
Sauron:
Even though I have forced them to sing my praises....
Nazgûl:
My what a guy, that Sauron!
He wants to be Lord,
His thoughts on the Ring.
Witch-King:
Right now we all ride,
But soon we'll have wings!
Nazgûl:
No one plots like Sauron,
Takes cheap shots like Sauron.
Witch-King:
No one else ties our stomachs in knots like Sauron!
For great leaders of Men though we had been,
Sauron, he tricked us with Rings
Now, not-quite-dead, we're a coven
Sauron:
That's right!
And now this Dark Lord likes his servants to SING!
Nazgûl:
No one spies like Sauron.
No one lies like Sauron.
No one keeps his big Eye on the prize like Sauron.
Sauron:
Back in Mirkwood they called me the Necromancer.
Nazgûl:
Every orc loves our Sauron!
Sauron:
When I was a Maia I made the One Ring
In the fiery mountain of Doom.
But that fool Isildur, he stole it from me.
And so I rant and I rave and I fume!
Nazgûl:
My, what a guy, that Sauron!
No one shouts like Sauron,
Has a mouth like Sauron.
No one quite terrorizes the South like Sauron.
Sauron:
When I get the Ring all Middle-Earth will serve me!
Nazgûl:
My what a guy...Sauron!
Gandalf warns Frodo not to wear the Ring.
Gandalf:
Frodo. Frodo.
A ring of power is not a toy,
No, my boy, not a toy
To fondle and dandle and playfully handle
In search of some puerile joy.
No, a ring of power is not,
Definitely not, a toy.
Frodo and Sam:
You're absolutely right, Gandalf.
We wouldn't have it any other way, Gandalf.
It's our primary rule, Gandalf.
Gandalf:
A ring of power is not a toy,
No, my boy, not a toy.
So do not go jumping for joy, boy.
A ring of power is not...
A ring of power is not...
A ring of power is not a toy.
A ring of power is not to be
Used for play therapy.
Be good to the ring you employ, boy.
Remember no matter what
Neurotic trouble you've got
A ring of power is not a toy.
It's a highly specialized key component
For international unity,
A fine and sensitive mechanism
To serve the evil community
With Sauron at home to support,
And you'll find that your mind it will slowly distort.
A ring of power is not a pet
Nor an e-rector set.
It happened to Isildur, boy:
They killed him with a shot
The day the fellow forgot
A ring of power is not a toy.
A ring of power is not a toy.
And when you put it to use...
Observe when you put it to use...
That you don't find the name Sméagol
On its noose.
A ring of power is not a thing
Wound by key, pulled by string.
Its master is evil
And not very feeble;
Is that what you plan to enjoy?
No!!
The ring of power you've got
Is definitely not
Supposed to do a gavotte,
Or you know what.
Before you jump for joy,
Remember this, my boy,
A ring of power is not
A tinkertoy!
At the Inn of the Prancing Pony, Frodo asks Mr. Butterbur about the Ranger in the corner.
Rangers:
Unhappy...unhappy...very unhappy.
Unhappy...unhappy...
Very very very very very
Very very unhappy....
Ranger 1:
Oh, he wanders all the mornin'
And he wanders all the ev'nin'
Until he gets where he's go'n.
| Aragorn: Until I get where I'm go'n'. |
Rangers: Until he gets where he's go'n'. |
| Aragorn: I spend my life a-wand'ring Cross mountains and dale. | |
| Rangers: Unhappy | |
| Aragorn: To what is my life amounting? I fear I may fail. | |
| Rangers: Unhappy | |
| Aragorn: I have a secret desire Hiding deep in my soul. It sets my heart afire To see me in this role....
I wanna be a great king, sir,
I wanna be a great king, sir, (A throng of female elves appear.) | |
| Elves: He wants to be a great king, sir, | |
| Aragorn: (spoken) Sell it, girls! | |
| Elves: That's why you should go with him. | |
| Aragorn: (spoken) Don't forget my weapon skills! | |
| Elves: He wants to be a great king, sir; Then your chance is not so slim. He wants to be a great king, sir, Lead you on to Rivendell. |
Elf 1:
Yes
Elf 2:
Go
Elf 3:
To
Elf 4:
See
Elf 5:
The
Elf 6:
Elves
Elves:
He wants to be a great king, sir.
For he doesn't always smell.
Aragorn:
I wanna be...
Elves:
He wants to be...
Aragorn:
I wanna be...
Elves:
He wants to be...
Aragorn:
I wanna be the greatest, grandest,
And most fabulous new ruler in the world.
Elves:
He wants to be a great king, sir.
He wants to find a perfect woman for a queen.
Aragorn:
I just gotta be a great king, sir.
First I must get myself clean.
Elves:
Must get himself clean!
Aragorn:
I wanna be a great king, sir,
Show the world just what I've got.
I'm gonna grab my sword
And kill an Uruk.
Elves and Aragorn:
Make girls swoon with only one look.
Aragorn:
I wanna be a great king, sir,
'Cause it's everything I'm not.
Rangers:
Unhappy...unhappy...
So unhappy....
Aragorn and Rangers:
Very very very very very
Very very...
Rangers:
...sad.
Aragorn:
I wanna be a great king, sir.
(spoken) Hold everything! What am I doing here? Gandalf the Grey was right! There is a lot more to me than there is to me! Stop the horse. I want to get on!
Butterbur:
Ranger, where do you think you're going?
Aragorn:
Butterbur, I've got news for you. I'm King. Here's my sword, my non-dirt repellant travelers coat.... And my big finish!
(sung)
I'm gonna be a great king, sir--
Sound the horn and beat the drum.
I'm gonna be a great king, sir.
Look out Gondor, here I come!
Rangers:
Gondor, here he comes!
Flashback to the beginning of Saruman's association with Sauron.
Witch-King:
(spoken) You will join me in singing and dancing the Dark Lord's favorite tune: "Who Has The Eye Drop?"! All right? Key of E?
Saruman:
Is there any other?
Witch-King:
Saila cilme! Minë, atta, neldë....
(sung)
Who has the eye drop
Who has the eye drop
For his big
Flaming eye?
Where is the eye drop?
Where is the eye drop?
Get it or
You will die!
Oh! It's an eye! Oh, it's dry!
I'm thinkin' I'm blinkin',
Blinkin' and thinkin'.
It looks like it's winkin'!
Everybody!
Ringwraiths and Saruman:
Where is the eye drop?
Where is his eye drop?
Witch-King:
Look at the
Big red eye
High on the tower
It's what's in power
Bring on the darkest hour!
(spoken) Máravë carna! Saruman, I like your dancing.
Saruman:
Thank you.
Witch-King:
You may join our Lord...
Saruman:
Excellent!
Witch-King:
...but only if you will take the Mordor Oath.
I solemnly swear...
Saruman:
I solemnly swear...
Witch-King:
...to obey the evil Mordor Oath...
Saruman:
...to obey the evil Mordor Oath...
Witch-King:
...and...
Ringwraith:
...and...
Saruman:
...and...
Witch-King:
...never, never, never...
Saruman:
...never, never, never...
Witch-King:
...disturb the eye with an eye lash or a speck of dust!
Saruman:
...disturb the eye...speck of dust?
Witch-King:
Yes, that is his one weakness. Not many people know it, but the Dark Lord has a hatred of tiny bits of dirt.
Saruman:
Really? Eyelash or speck of dust.
Witch-King:
Good! Now you are truly evil!
Saruman:
Ah, you won't regret this. So thank you, Black Rider.
Witch-King:
A Wizard! Wait till they hear about this in Mordor! Oh, my Ringwraiths!
(sung)
We're clinkin' and stinkin',
He's blinkin' and winkin'
Up top.
He won't stop!
(spoken) Smile, he's got you!
The Council of Elrond.
Elrond:
(spoken) Don't you see, Gimli, Frodo, and gang? It's so simple. Step One: You see this Ring forged by Sauron. Step Two: You pick the one who has to carry it. Step Three: I stay here--
Boromir:
Here?
Elrond:
Yes! Here. Someone has to talk some sense into Arwen. Step Four: You
take the Ring and risk perils and danger and before you can say Step Five, you face those dangers, take the Ring and throw it into Mount Doom.
Gimli:
Mount Doom? Nah, that'd never work.
Elrond:
Oh ye of little faith.
(sung)What did Gandalf say to Bilbo
When he asked him to leave the Ring?
What did Frodo say to Samwise
When he asked to see elves sing?
What did Arwen say to Frodo
As they raced to Rivendell?
I'm sure that you can tell--
Legolas:
(spoken)
What'd they say?
Elrond:
(sung)
You can do it, you can do it,
You can do it, all of you.
You can do it, all you do it
You can take this ring on through.
Gandalf:
Everything that Sauron wanted
Is wrapped up within that band.
Evil and pain, it'll be dark again,
Haunting you and chasing you
If it's on your hand.
You can do it, you can do it.
This is not the time to shirk.
You can do it, you may rue it.
You may want to go berserk.
Elrond:
Hey there Gimli, why so grim-ly?
Legolas can do the work.
You can do it, you can do it.
For who else can kill the orc?
(spoken)What do you say guys?
Aragorn:
What do we say?
Finally a chance for me to be a king, sir.
Boromir:
What do I say?
Finally a chance for me to get the Ring, sir.
Aragorn and Boromir:
What do we say, what do we say?
Here's what we say to you, sir--
Gimli:
We can't do it, we can't do it!
We won't do it with the elf.
Legolas:
We can't do it, we can't do it!
I'll get some dirt upon my self.
Frodo:
When it comes to facing Mordor,
How would any hobbit feel?
Evil and pain, it'll be dark again,
Haunting me and chasing me....
We don't have a deal.
Elrond:
(spoken)Why you miserable, cowardly, wretched little council! Don't you ever want to save Middle Earth? Don't you want to pick up your bow and your axe and fight your way to Mordor?
| Elrond: You can do it. You can do it. You can head Out of this room. |
Frodo: My dear, dear forehead man, Please stop your plea. This ain't for me. I'll say so long; I'm not as strong A hobbit as you think. |
| You can do it. You can do it. Reach the summit Of Mount Doom! |
And Mr. Gandalf the Grey, I will go away. I just can't say I know the way. The bottom line Is that I'm scared! |
| Gandalf: Come on, Frodo, Don't you say no.... |
I...can't... Do...it! |
Frodo:
You see vict'ry, I see gloom!
Elrond:
You can do it.
Frodo:
I can't do it!
Gandalf:
You can do it!
Frodo:
I cannot, cannot, cannot,
Cannot do it,
'Cause it's evil at Mount Doom!
Gandalf:
You can do it!
| Elrond and Gandalf: You can head out of this room! |
Fellowship: It is sure to be our tomb! |
Boromir wants the Ring.
Boromir:
Life was no song,
Then you came along.
I've laid awake the whole night through.
If I have thought
What could be wrought
When I get a hold of you....
You were meant for me,
And I was meant for you.
Sauron patterned you,
And when he was done
You were all the power rolled up in one.
You're like a rousing melody
To help set Gondor free.
I'll be content
For the fates must have sent you
And they meant you just for me.
I'll be content
For the fates must have sent you--
And they meant you just for me.
Merry and Pippin:
You are my favorite hobbit;
I love the fun you provide!
A trip to Mt. Doom?
As good as a 'shroom--
When I'm by your side.
Happy to be their companions,
Glad that we are so free.
I feel as grand as the canyons
When we're off to Bree.
People are scared when they see us;
They know we're up to no good.
Always some scheming between us--
'Spec'lly when there's food.
We're an unusual duo,
Don't always play by the rules.
A Took and a 'buck,
We're always in luck,
Though we seem the fools.
I like what our duo can do!
The combination is greater
Than the sum of its parts.
Should we cement this arrangement?
This mission that we have joined--
Don't you mean quest?--
Along with the rest?
We're off to the East.
Not scared in the least!
Like eggs are to ham,
Like Frodo to Sam.
I'm by your side.
The Fellowship attempts the Pass of Caradhras.
All:
Buried in snow
On the side of Caradhras
Frodo:
Waiting for the wind to stop.
All:
Waiting for the wind to carry us
Over the drop.
Buried in snow
On the side, on the side, on the side,
On the side, on the side, on the side,
On the side of Caradhras.
Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey!
Boromir:
I told you that we should have gone by Rohan.
In this cold, the halflings cannot go on.
At least it's warmer in Rohan.
At least it's warmer in Gondor.
At least it's warmer down through Dunland,
There's the sun and--
Oh. Isengard....
All:
But we're still buried in snow
On the side of Caradhras.
Freezing here up on a ledge,
Waiting for the wind to carry us
Over the edge.
Buried in snow
On the side, on the side, on the side,
On the side, on the side, on the side,
On the side of
| Frodo and Gandalf: Caradhras. Brrr!
Hey! Hey! |
Others: Brrr!
Hey! Hey! |
Merry:
Life is short;
Freezing takes loooooong!
Anyone got a warm blanket?
Others:
Buried on the side of Caradhras.
Merry:
Gandalf, you want to light a fire?
Others:
Buried on the side of Caradhras.
Merry:
Anyone doing anything?
Others except Gimli:
Buried on the side, on the side, on the side, on the--
Gimli:
Would it kill us to go
Through the Dwarf-mines of Moria?
My cousin Balin would
Treat us like kings!
Got any reason why?
Frodo:
Maybe it's worth a try.
Gandalf:
No! No. No....
Aragorn (to Gandalf):
When you're right, you're right.
|
All but Aragorn and Gandalf: Couldn't we go Through the Dwarf-mines of Moria? His cousin Balin would Treat us like kings! |
Aragorn (to Gandalf): Right. |
Legolas:
Wait! I see it.
Pippin:
Wait! It's stony.
All:
Wait! I see the ground.
I think it's melting!
I think it's melting!
No more snow!
Aragorn:
Could that be a metaphor?
Others:
Caradhras is in our past.
Aragorn:
Leaving the snow at last
Is a sign of things improving.
All:
Not in snow!
On the side, on the side, on the side,
On the side, on the side, on the side,
On the side of
Hobbits:
Caradhras.
Boromir:
(spoken) We get the picture.
Legolas:
Now, that wasn't so bad, was it?
Others:
(sung) On the side of Caradhras Caradhras Caradhras.
|
Merry and Pippin: On the side of Caradhras Caradhras.
Caradhras Caradhras |
Aragorn, Gandalf, Sam, Frodo: Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey!
Caradhras.
Hey hey |
Legolas, Gimli, Boromir: Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Caradhras.
Hey hey
|
All:
Hey hey hey hey
Hey!
And when the Pass of Caradhras proves too perilous, the Fellowship heads for the Mines of Moria.
Gimli:
To Mor'ya. To Mor'ya.
We've trekked the whole night through.
To Mor'ya. To Mor'ya we're due.
To Mor'ya. To Mor'ya.
The dwarves will fill your plate.
To Mor'ya. To Mor'ya for you.
When the group began to roam,
Our future seemed so bright.
Now to this dwarf it feels like home.
It's too late to say good night.
So Good Mor'ya. Good Mor'ya.
Yes, this doorway we'll get through.
Good Mor'ya. Good Mor'ya
To you and you and you and you.
Good Mor'ya Good Mor'ya.
We've fought the squid-like thing.
Good Mor'ya. Good Mor'ya to you.
(Nothin' could be grosser than an orc with halitosis.)
In Mor'ya.... In Mor'ya.
We fought a cave troll too,
In Mor'ya. In Mor'ya, we're doomed.
(Might be just a goblin, but we're already hobblin'.)
When we went towards Kazhad-Dûm
Our future wasn't bright.
Came the 'rog, the show went on,
Then Gandalf dropped from sight.
I say leave Mor'ya. Leave Mor'ya!
The elves we'll go right to.
Leave Mor'ya. Leave Mor'ya.
We're through!
Frodo offers Galadriel the One Ring.
Galadriel:
All I have to do is forget how much I want it.
All I have to do is put my longing to one side,
Tell myself that power's a very dang'rous situation;
Intentions wouldn't last, and all my scruples would have died.
It's easy, it's easy.
All I have to do is pretend I wasn't tempted
On those very rare occasions when it steals into my heart.
Better to resist it while its lure can scarce entice me;
Better the contempt for other creatures cannot start.
It's easy, it's easy.
Until I think about it, and the strength that it could give me,
And how the world would be were I to rule it all one day.
Those "very rare occasions" won't let up, they'll keep on coming.
Power never equalled--and I'm giving it away!
It's easy, it's easy as life.
But then I see the faces of the subjugated peoples--
How hobbits, dwarfs, and humans would be if Sauron won!
Is this how the elves will leave the world we once defended?
Can I let this Ring undo all the good we've done?
It's easy, so easy.
And though I'll think about it as I leave this land behind me,
And though I choose to leave it for the hobbit to destroy,
This is just my trial, my betrayal, my redemption,
My chance to show the world I can resist the Dark Lord's ploy!
It's easy.
It's easy as life.
It's easy as life.
It's easy as life!
As the Fellowship leaves Lothlórien, Legolas reflects on the joys of being who he is.
Legolas:
I'm an elf and by me that only great.
I am proud that my daggers are so curvy,
That I walk with a lithe and airy gait
With my aim never swivelly and swervey.
I adore being dressed in all my elf kits;
When Elrond sends me off from Rivendell
Out I go with my men and dwarf and hobbits
Like an elf who is ready for the kill.
When I have a brand new hairdo
No one's prettier than myself.
I float atop snow as none do;
I enjoy being an elf.
I repelled all the mud on this quest
When through Moria we did delve;
So much cleaner by far than the rest--
I enjoy being an elve.
I flip when upon the rocks I prance.
I drool when I see Galadriel,
For when I take even one small glance
I realize that of this ball I'm not the belle.
I'm strictly a pretty Woodelf,
And my future I hope will be
That wherever I go with my self,
I'll enjoy being an elf having a face like me.
When I have my bow and quiver
Full of arrows--more than twelve--
I make all the Uruks shiver.
I enjoy being an elve.
When someone with eyes like Frodo
Says he's off to Dwarrowdelf
I pick up my bow and join him
I enjoy being an elf.
When I hear a complement'ry whistle
That greets my fantastic archery,
I turn and I glower and I bristle
But I'm happy to know the whistle's meant for me!
I'm strictly a pretty Woodelf,
And my future I hope will be
That wherever I go with my self,
I'll enjoy being an elf having a face like me.
The Ring lures Boromir into trying to take it from Frodo.
Ring:
It seems crazy, but you must believe
They've nothing calculated, nothing planned.
They all mean well, but they are naive
And so sheltered they can't understand
The needs of your land.
I'd be good for you.
I don't always turn up like this,
Thirty cent'ries since my last hello,
But you can see I'm too good to miss;
If I'm wrong, I hope you'll tell me so.
But you really should know:
I'd be good for you.
I'd be surprisingly good for you.
I won't go on if I'm boring you,
But can you understand my point of view?
Do you like what you hear, what you see,
And would you be good for me too?
I'm not talking of a hurried war,
A frantic skirmish where few soldiers die,
Knowing next year you'll be fighting more--
That's not the reason that I caught your eye.
Which has to imply
I'd be good for you.
I'd be surprisingly good for you.
Boromir:
Please go on; you enthrall me!
I can understand you perfectly.
And I like what I hear, what I see, and knowing me
I would be good for you too.
Ring:
I'm not talking of a hurried war,
A frantic skirmish where few soldiers die,
Knowing next year you'll be fighting more--
That's not the reason that I caught your eye.
Which has to imply
I'd be good for you.
I'd be surprisingly good for you.
Frodo and Sam, having split off from the rest of the Fellowship, reaffirm their friendship.
Sam:
We would listen to Bilbo tell of lands where he once roamed,
And once in a while we would dream of when we would wander far from home.
Frodo:
And we'd think, what an odd situation, to travel outside the Shire.
Sam:
Yet now we venture to Mordor...
Frodo:
Approach the mountain of fire.
Both:
I will never leave you.
I will never go away.
We were meant to share each moment;
Beside you is where I will stay.
Evermore and always,
We'll be one though we're two,
For I will never leave you!
Sam:
When the day is filled with shadows that stretch into the night--
Frodo:
I am filled with your sweet comfort, like morning fills with light.
Both:
I will never leave you.
I will never go away.
We were meant to share each moment;
Beside you is where I will stay.
Evermore and always,
We'll be one though we're two,
For I will never leave you!
| Sam: No, I will never leave you.
I will Evermore and always,
We'll be |
Frodo: I will never leave you,
Never go away! That's where I will stay.
Evermore
For I will never |