Promises, Promises

There was a knock at the door. Willow started to call out an invitation, then remembered she wasn't living in a public dorm anymore and corrected herself. "Yeah?"

The door swung open to reveal Spike leaning casually against the frame. "Spike! Uh, hi. Is there, um, something I can do for you?" This wasn't the first time he'd been to her new apartment--Buffy had somehow convinced her it was only fitting they force him to carry the heavier book boxes when she'd moved in--but usually when he needed something he went to the magic shop; greater chance of finding one of the Scoobies that way.

But now he was just across the room, gazing at her with an intensity that made her breath catch; when he spoke, it was in that low tone that she somehow found both menacing and delicious. Entirely unfair. "More like something I can do for you."

"Wh-what?"

He began stalking slowly towards her, the door swinging shut behind him. "I seem to recall having made you a promise, ducks. I know it's been a while, but I can finally follow through. I hope you didn't think I'd forgot."

"Um...forgot what?" Her mind scrambled to recall any promises he might have made her, but all she could come up with were threats.

"Now, Willow," he said, sitting next to her, "don't tell me you don't remember that night in your room."

She wanted to scoot away, but there really wasn't anywhere for her to go. For the first time, she found herself wishing she'd spent the extra money for an apartment with an actual bedroom, rather than settling for a much-cheaper studio; at least then she could've gotten a couch. Somehow she didn't like where this was going--mention of that night, alone with Spike, on a bed...the possibilities were not exactly comforting.

"Oh. Um. But I-I don't really remember any promising going on; you were trying to kill me...."

"Not permanently. It's just a necessity; hard to gift someone with eternity without it," he shrugged.

"E-Eternity?"

"I told you, pet, I was planning to bring you back. You didn't think all this time I was going to just abandon you once you were dead, did you?"

Well, actually.... "What happened to 'I'm giving you a choice'?"

One corner of his mouth quirked up. "What can I say, pet? I lied. I'm a demon, after all. I had no intention of letting you stay dead; what a waste that would be. No, love, you had no real choice--I had already decided you were going to be around forever."

It took her a few moments to recover from that enough to respond; she'd spent the past couple of years assuming that, were it not for the Initiative, she would have been dead for good that night. In fact, for a while, she was ashamed to recall, she had even wondered if that might not have been better. She wasn't sure how she felt about the idea that she'd have been a vampire instead.

And yet...she couldn't resist asking, "Why me? Just to make Buffy upset?"

For the first time since entering the room, he looked away; she found it a little easier to...not relax, precisely, but...not-panic, without his steady, unreadable gaze focused on her. "Has nothing to do with the Slayer. You...you remind me of this bloke I once knew. Quiet around anyone but your closest friends, intellectual, shy. Able to feel quite deeply, even if you don't always show it. You deserve the same chance he had, to--to find yourself. It's very freeing, being a vampire is," he said, looking back at her and growing enthusiastic. "All of a sudden, society's rules and expectations mean nothing. You can be and do whatever you want, without caring what anybody else thinks. And you'll have eternity to discover just what it is you do want."

"But...why? Maybe I don't want eternity. M-Maybe I'm happy with, you know, being alive!"

"But you're not, pet, are you?" he said quietly. "Not deep down. The others, they don't see it, but you can't hide from me. You haven't been really happy since before the wolf left, if then."

"Well, so? Even if that's true--and I'm not saying it is, 'cause it's not!--that's no reason to make me a vampire! Remember, you hate us; you should want us to be unhappy."

"Not you, love."

"Oh, right, great, me you just want dead!" Okay, probably not the best thing to say to a vampire that was blocking her only escape route, but it came out before she could think.

"No, I want you by my side, Willow," he replied calmly.

"Uh...while you do what? Or do I want to know? Y'know, I don't. Whatever it is, I'm certain I do not want to hear deta--" He cut off her nervous babbling by placing two fingers gently against her lips, startling her into silence.

"Sorry to disappoint, but I don't have some dark, evil plot going. I just want you with me, pet, forever. I...." His voice lost some of its normally hard edge and the confidence that had been dominant until now, as once again he seemed unable to meet her gaze. "I'm lonely, Red. I've spent more than a century with no one I could really talk to, but I did all right, because I had Dru. Now, I'm all alone, and I hate it. And if I've got a chance to start again, I want it all this time. Someone who not only cares about me, but who's actually got a working brain, someone worth the effort of communicating with...."

As his voice trailed off, Willow began to forget that he'd been talking about killing her; she knew what it was like to be alone, and more than that, she just felt sorry for him. It was easy to forget sometimes just what Spike was, especially when he was being all sweet and vulnerable like this. Despite the small part of her mind that kept screaming in protest, she found herself wanting to comfort him.

Then his focus returned to her, and with it her awareness of the latent danger that Spike's presence always meant. "You'll love being a vampire, pet," he said with a far from reassuring grin. "There's so much I can teach you, and with the two of us working together, I just know we'll be able to come up with some brilliant schemes. When was the last time you could honestly say you spent a good portion of each day just having fun, love? Because that's what it'll be."

He'd reached out with one hand to gently stroke her cheek, and she had to struggle not to back away. It was all she could do to keep herself from visibly shuddering in fear, and even then she only managed it because the logical part of her knew that he couldn't do anything to hurt her.

Which brought to mind something he'd said earlier, and before she realised what she was doing she'd asked him about it. "W-Wait a second here. You said something about, about 'following through' on your threat. But your, uh, chip--"

"Is gone," he interrupted casually.

Willow's eyes widened in fear, and she couldn't help casting a quick glance towards the phone; if it was close enough, maybe she could get to it and hit the speed dial button for Buffy or Giles before he had a chance to grab her, so that at least they'd know she was in trouble....

If Spike hadn't killed them already, that is. She couldn't prevent the shudder this time, then withdrew what little space she could in case the display of fear provoked him.

He, however, just chuckled. "Don't worry, pet, they're all fine. And they can even stay that way, if you insist; killing them would just be a momentary pleasure. If you still don't want them harmed after you wake up, we'll simply go far away from Sunnydale and they'll never need to know. It's a small price to pay for eternity, after all."

His hand shifted from her cheek to hold the back of her head in a firm grip, as his voice turned hard and cold. "Oh, and before you try anything--I don't think it would be a good idea to, say, attempt to call for help. Because then I'd just have to kill you quick, and trust me when I say that hurts much more than is actually necessary. This is going to happen, regardless; but it can either be sheer agony for you, or I can make it gentle, nearly painless. Up to you, ducks."

Nearly paralyzed by panic, Willow was unable to do more than whimper in reply. Frantically her mind raced, desperately trying to come up with some way out of this situation. But there didn't seem to be one; if she struggled or tried to get away, she had no doubts that he could--and would, since he couldn't possibly have been serious about that wanting her with him forever stuff--snap her neck before she knew what was happening. And even if he weren't blocking her path to the door, he was much too close for her to get far. The phone, it seemed, wasn't really an option, and besides, he'd be expecting that now. His eyes were boring into hers with apparent patience, but if there was one thing she knew about Spike, it was that "patient" was the last word to describe him, and the fact that he was pretending to be so now somehow just added to her fear.

She had no idea how long they sat there, staring at each other, before he once again gave a slow smile and whispered, "That's my girl." She squeezed her eyes shut in a last desperate attempt to block out what was happening to her, as he leaned in towards her neck.


In Another World